Hiss Columbus

Yes, I was a judge at this year's Second Hiss Columbus "pageant."

And I lived through it.

I even touched a snake. That doesn't mean I'm still not afraid of them. I still have an unreasonable fear of those slithery animals.

This is the winning reptile, Zeus, a boa that is owned by Michael Elston. I forget what kind of boa it is.

It is huge. You can't see it in the picture, but I know that snake was looking at me. It did flick its tongue at me several times.

When Michael brought Zeus to the judges' table, I did reach out to touch him. My fellow judge, Miller Robson, told his 4-year-old daughter that it felt like "Mommy's purse."

I wouldn't go that far.

Ed Bostic was the head judge because this is his second time judging.

I was relieved that I didn't have to get real close to them. This is about the closest I want to get to a boa constrictor. Michael asked if I wanted to hold him.

Why would I want to hold a 50-lb. snake?!

In fact, I asked a little girl who was showing her lizard to us if she'd rather have a dog. She said she wanted a dog, but she got a lizard.

What kind of parent would rather give their child a lizard instead of a dog?

And then one boy showed up with battle scars. His snake actually bit him and wouldn't let go. He had bite marks on his hand.

I get bitten by Chipper all the time, but I'd rather get bitten by my little Chihuahua than a snake.

Jill Carroll, the education director at Oxbox Meadows Environmental Center, put this whole thing together. Seriously, it is a great event. It shows children that they should not be afraid of reptiles and educates him about the poisonous vs. non-poisonous reptiles. And to respect them.

There were lots of people there. In fact, Jill said that was the biggest crowd they ever had.

Some of the reptiles weren't doing so well because it was cold, but I guess that's why the owners were holding them.

One lizard was gorgeous. The owner said he was cold so his color was a little dull. He came back after he'd been out in the sun and he was this brilliant yellow and green — as pretty as a lizard can be, I'm guessing.

Anyway, I'm glad I went and if Jill wants me back next year, I'll be there.