GOOP

Two of my least favorite people: Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow

I sometimes think that blogging is self-indulgent. No one really cares what I think. But my boss is making me do it (blog).

But, my God! Gwyneth Paltrow is taking things way beyond self-indulgence.

OK. For one thing, I can't stand the woman. I don't understand why people think she's the greatest thing alive. When she won the Oscar (the year that Cate Blanchett should have), she was wearing that ill-fitted pink gown. Everyone was going on and on about how wonderful she looked. My only comment: Doesn't she have a bra? I mean, she's in Hollywood! Where were her stylists? So she doesn't want implants. Gwyneth, you could have bought a padded bra and you would have looked so much better.

Now, she's come up with something called GOOP. It's her lifestyle Web site.

I just read about it on E! Online.

"Good news everyone, Gwyneth Paltrow is launching a lifestyle website — because when life is as amazing as hers obviously is, it’s selfish to keep all those fabulous secrets to yourself."

The writer of this piece, Jennifer Cady, is a woman I'd like to meet.

She writes things like the Web site "promises to offer tips on how to Make, Go, Get, Do, Be and See like Gwyneth so that we may become as awesome as Gwyneth and eventually get to hang out with Madonna."

Here's what Gwyneth has to say about GOOP: “My life is good because I am not passive about it. I want to nourish what is real, and I want to do it without wasting time. I love to travel, to cook, to eat, to take care of my body and mind, to work hard. I love being a mother who has to overcome my bad qualities to be a good mother. I love being in spaces that are clean and feel nice.

“Make your life good. Invest in what's real. Cook a meal for someone you love. Pause before reacting. Clean out your space. Read something beautiful. Treat yourself to something. Go to a city you've never been to. Learn something new. Don't be lazy. Workout and stick with it. GOOP. Make it great."

Doesn't this just make you want to gag?

The woman has money. Most people in America don't have the kind of funds that will let them travel. They're just having trouble making ends meet. Feeding their children. Buying gas to get to work.

Yuck!