George Carlin

The last time George Carlin was in Columbus must have been 12 years ago. It was in the old Three Arts Theater.

I interviewed him then and I thought it was odd that he wanted me to tape the interview. I did it, though I didn't tell him that the tape recorder didn't work when I connected it to my phone. I'm not the most electronically savvy person in the world.

I didn't see him then. I remember that week, though. One copy editor was on vacation and the other copy editor had a family emergency. I had to edit and lay out the entire entertainment section by myself. So it's at least 10 years ago because this was before we started To Do, which first published in 1997.

I just came from the Bill Heard Theatre where Carlin performed.

What I didn't know was that he brought an opening act. Not another comedian, though. Vance Gilbert, a very talented singer/songwriter performed. Armed with just a guitar and that fabulous voice, he won over the audience, even those who were heckling him.

Actually, I found out that Gilbert was going to open because Steve Sweet, the RiverCenter's technical director, told me. He said he had not seen Carlin all day. I asked if he was in his dressing room. "He hasn't been in the building," was what Steve said. In fact, Steve had to pick him up at 7:50 p.m.

Gilbert was on stage until 8 p.m. Then there was a 20 minute intermission.

And Carlin hit the stage around 8:20 p.m.

Unlike most of the people who have performed on that stage, he never acknowledged the fact that he was in Columbus. Not once.

That's not a crime, but a little odd.

I mean when I interviewed Kathy Griffin and Lily Tomlin, they both asked lots of questions about Columbus. Griffin used some of it in her act, and I was told that Tomlin did, too.

Carlin says he works up new material on the road and every 2-3 years, he does an HBO special. He'll be filming his 14th such show soon.

He apologized that he'd be checking his notes from time to time. And he did go through his stack of papers. But he never missed a beat.

Carlin's celebrating his 50th anniversary in show business. I remember watching him on the old shows like "The Merv Griffin Show" and "The Ed Sullivan Show." He was funny without using profanity. But he really doesn't use profanity for the sake of saying four-letter words. He uses profanity to punctuate his thoughts.

But he did tell some vile, disgusting, politically incorrect jokes. Jokes that he said people would be telling their friends on their cell phones even as they hit the lobby.

I noticed a few people with their phones out. I wonder if they were telling that especially bad Ozarks hillbilly joke.

My sides do ache a little from laughing.

And there were a lot of people in the Heard Theatre. As far as I could see, no one left the auditorium. I guess when people go see George Carlin, they know what to expect.

The show was irreverent and very funny. He made fun of parents who didn't let their kids be kids but scheduled play dates for them. He made fun of the entire Bush family.

The last thing he said really hit home for me. He said Americans assume we have all the rights in the world. But during World War II, Americans were sent to detention centers because their parents were born in the wrong country. My father was one of those people sent to camps.

Carlin says sometimes, rights are not rights, but they are privileges.

The only bad thing was we were sitting in the row in front of these two yahoos who yammered all through Gilbert's act. I mean they were talking loudly. After about 15 minutes, just as I was going to turn around to ask them to either quit talking or go out into the lobby, my sweet, mild-mannered sister-in-law, Cheryl, turned around and asked them to be quiet.

To their credit, they did shut up. But when Carlin came out, they hooted and hollered and whistled. I didn't mind that so much, because everyone was laughing. But they just had to bang on the backs of our seats.

Oh, well. There are rude people everywhere.

Let me know what you thought of the show.